Job searching....

Before....

Oh God... I feel so nervous.  I feel like I am about to jump off a cliff.  Why an I so nervous?  I am about to go to a job fair.  The flyer says bring plenty of resumes and dress for an interview.  So I have lots of resumes printed out and I am dressed up.  I even put make-up on which is not normal.  Stupid, right,  I am getting all worked up over something so small.  I hope I have everything I will need... I keep reminding myself to calm down and take things one at a time as they come.  That helps a little... for like a couple of seconds.  Well got to go....

After....
Disappointment... That is the perfect word for me at this moment.  Pretty much every company was telling us to go apply online.  Dress for an interview it said, the people here would care you if you were dressed to go to the gym let alone an interview.  The companys there were accepting resumes but they gave me the impression that they would just get tossed in the trash later since they told you to still fill out an application online.   Arg, I feel like I totally wasted my day which makes me feel like a piece of trash.  I hope the rest of you in this world aren't have as hard of a time trying to find a job as I am.

"I ended my first book with the words no answer.  I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer.  You are yourself the answer.  Before your face questions die away.  What other answer would suffice? Only words, words; to be led out to battle against other words."
pg. 308 from Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis

The Story of the Buried Heart

There once was a girl who fell in love with a boy.  She knew the boy did not see her and she didn’t mind.  She was happy to watch over him from afar.  But then came a time when she could no longer watch over him.  Her tears fell and her heart ached.  In an attempt to keep her heart from breaking she buried her heart under a tree.  Until there came a time when she could return and reclaim her heart.  There her heart grew unnoticed by the boy, although he walked by it everyday.
Years later when the girl had become a woman she returned to reclaim her heart.  But when she dug where the heart had been she found she could not take the heart from where it rested.  For in the years that had passed the tree her heart was buried beneath had grown and its roots had surrounded the heart.  There was no way to retrieve the heart without ripping it.  So she left it there and to this day her heart has not been moved by any man although many have tried.

The Wish

I soar on the back of my dragon who’s strong wings have yet to fail me. I fight in battles for the good of those I love.  My sword never leaves my side as I travel the world.  My hand is steady as I pull back the string on my bow so that I might have fresh game for supper.  I laugh wholeheartedly at whatever pleases me and spar with words when ever I find an opponent worthy. I have climbed mountains and crossed oceans. I fear not what the next day will bring for it is today I live for.
Then my eyes open and I heave a heavy sigh.  Before my lays the book that has all I need to know for my final.  The wish to enter into the another world with exciting adventure is strong but the reality of the world I am in would be foolish to forget.  So I open the book in front of me and with a quiet resolve I choose to be happy with being the boring book worm I am and leave the adventure for a time when life calls for it.  Although that doesn’t mean I will keep my mind from straying every now and then like right now……